Poop and conservatives


I was putting in my usual 750 words today and I wrote this.  I thought I’d share it although it will probably upset some of my conservative friends. 

 I was thinking about poop.  You know, feces in food.  The FDA limits the amount of feces that is OK in the food we eat.  Who decides that?  I say I don’t want ANY shit in my food but the government says it’s alright to have some.  And how do they determine that?  Do they have feces counters?  People who spend all day bent over a microscope counting shit particles in food.  Do they specialize, like a shred out for corn flakes or tortillas?  I’ll bet that’s a growth industry.  And also I’ll bet that imported food is full of it.  I know that when I was in China and Japan 50 years ago it was common practice to use human and animal waste as fertilizer.  I’m sure they’re still doing it. 

Also, I remember hearing about catfish farms where they raised pigs or chickens in raised pens over the catfish ponds and then fed some of the excess catfish or dead ones for whatever reason back to the pigs.  Sorta like a perfect recycling model for maximizing profits.  I know that sounds outlandish but what do you want to bet that it’s being done somewhere. 

You’re wondering if I spend my time thinking of this kind of stuff?  Yeah, pretty much.  Somebody has to do it.  If I can think of it, somebody is doing it and you’re eating it.  Now how do you feed about government regulation?  And how do you feel about keeping corporate interests from establishing public policy?  You want Tyson Foods setting the limits on chicken poop in your food? 

Which brings up something else I’ve been wondering about.  Conservatives are always lamenting about taking back our country.  Like they want to return to those sterling days of yesteryear when things were so much better.  When was that?  Was that 1750?  1850?  1950?  Probably that last one, huh.  I remember 1950.  We were fighting the commies and 50,000 of our young people, mostly 18 to 21 year old boys were being killed to keep the world free for democracy.  Seems like a fair trade, huh?  Maybe not to them but for the rest of us it worked out pretty well didn’t it?  I had a brother in the First Cavalry in Korea and he got shot up pretty bad and they patched him up and sent him back and he got shot up again.  He manned a BAR (Browning Automatic Rifle) and I remember him telling of shooting a ‘gook’ and cutting him in two so that the top half fell and the bottom half kept running.  He laughed about it but I could
tell it was a false bravado, a nervous laughter.  I think it ate on him.  I hope it did.  I would watch the Register-Guard every day to see where the battles were and who was winning in an effort to try to keep up with how my brother was.  Also, we had air-raid drills in Springfield and when the sirens went off we would crawl under our desks at school and cover up with our hands over our heads to protect us from the atomic bombs.  Also, there were still segregated schools- anyone remember Delores, little black girl with pigtails in second grade at Mill Street, who was sent to a school in Glenwood.  I don’t know if we had segregated schools but I know that was the only black kid I ever knew in school and she only lasted a short while.  I think almost all the black people in Oregon at that time lived in North Portland. That’s Dolores in the center of the top row, I’m second from the left and I think that’s Loraine Henderson next to me.  Sharon Stevenson is on the right next to Mrs. Basford.

So yeah, that’s probably the country that most conservatives are pining for and wish we could go back to.  I think we can do better and I think that it diminishes us as a nation when we don’t try to do better.  Right now we’re somewhere in the middle of developed nations in most categories of health, education, quality of life, birth deaths, longevity, etc.  We used to be at the top.  Who’s at the top?  Mostly Scandinavian countries that don’t spend all their resources on weapons and spend more on their people. 

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7 Comments on “Poop and conservatives”


  1. […] 53.  Poop and conservatives 1-23-12 […]

    • Carolyn Harper Says:

      Hi Jack, I love your writings. I was not in that class with the black child. You make some good points. I remember in the 50s my dad holding up the newspaper every night, and as I walked past I would see those pictures of the Korean war and how many dead that day. It troubled me a lot as a kid but that is the beauty of childhood I think, you leave it to the grown ups to sort out, not your problem, well not till you grow up of course. Only thing that bothers me is how you stereotype “conservatives” it makes me think you are rather set in your ways. Because I don’t think there is any such breed, instead we are all individuals. I don’t particularly like how “liberals” are stereotyped either, don’t know the need for all of this but must admit I am still figuring out a lot of things. I know I am a Christian am quite solid on my beliefs there. My son, a liberal, says I am “fundamentalist,” he is much more educated than I. He went to U of O and his wife to Berkley. I can get along with liberals ok just when we talk religion or politics we see how different we are, but I don’t think any of it really matters in the grand scheme of things as I believe God will judge each one of us personally and uniquely. If there is one thing I believe; it is I am me, and you are not like me. Nobody is like another, and we will be judged individually, not along party lines.

  2. Carolyn Harper Says:

    Did love the discussion of the poop, like I said I love the way you look at things and dig out details for us to contemplate. I love doing that as well.

  3. Carolyn Harper Says:

    Don’t know why I said Jeff was much more educated than I, I also have masters from the U. of O. hmm must just be my humble way of looking at things. All that study taught me though is I know so little, not saying everybody learned that from college, just me I guess. Tip of the ice burg six years of college.


  4. Jack, One of my greatest pet peeve’s is this constant harping on the “Good Old “Days”> I don’t know when those days were exactly, but I take it that most harpers are “remembering” the 1950s. Ha! In the 50s, my mother was picked out of the assembly line at a pen company. The boss wanted her to come to his office in the evening and “take notes” Of course he really wanted to sexually harass her. The next time he tried this, she took me and my friend (10 years old) and our Monopoly board. She wasn’t summoned again.

    Another story from the 50’s. A little boy in our neighborhood had his trousers catch on fire when he tried to stamp out a little alley fire. His mother rushed him to the local Catholic hospital where the nuns harrased her for money while her little boy screamed in agony. She had to take him in a taxi to another hospital and the nuns sent her a bill for the dirty sheets. Ahhhh, those lovely innocent days. Today that hospital would experience a malpractice lawsuit so huge they would have to close their doors.

    So…”the good old days” were really nasty indeed.

    I have a WordPress Blog to…of course mostly about Patos Island,

    Bye for now, Linda

  5. kaistrandskov Says:

    Would love to hear your perspective on McCarthy.


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